Jon and I are both participating in Thing a Day for the month of February. On the eve of this we are both trying to figure out what we are going to make each day. I have decided to make tea- at least while I am thinking about it.
I so often feel like making something or writing something, but I am caught with this huge feeling of- but what (imagine in a very whiny voice- the more annoying the better- this voice is not pleasant). So today I decided that when I am feeling this way- I will make a cup of tea. I will make something. Realizing that I make stuff all the time- tea, the bed, words put together in ways that I like, yummy food, pretty pictures with paint and paper. I make a lot of stuff. Truly.
Now to some other things that I am excited about- like Shimelle’s Journal exercises for every day in February. How wonderful is that and another great answer to the “but whats.” Then there is this lovely new Inspiration Zine that also looks to be quite wondermous as well.
All of this loveliness swirling around me and helping me deal with my dreaded affliction. I am all excited about the month of February for so many reasons now… and that is truly wonderful- for February has not often been a month that I have looked upon fondly. So cheers for February and lovely people and projects that help with the “but whats.”
I certainly haven’t been shopping for any new shoes
I certainly haven’t been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it’s a slow climb,
But I’m good at being uncomfortable, so
I can’t stop changing all the time
– Extraordinary Machine, by Fiona Apple
I am a work in progress
dressed in the fabric of
a world unfolding
offering me intricate
patterns of questions
rhythms that never come clean
and strengths that you
still haven’t seen
-from The Slant, by Ani Difranco
My Mondo Beyondo continues to be in progress… like much of my life… I am getting more comfortable with this state. It seems like a necessity at this point. So this morning I embrace it- I am a work in progress- and that is ok- in fact it is quite good.
Thanks to Ms. Andrea and her Mondo Beyondo I have been inspired to complete the process myself this year.
1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?
(What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)
I am proud that I taught in another country. That Jon and I were able to move to the UK and live there.
I am also proud that when the time came we were able to leave and come back to the states.
I got paid for something I did creatively in 2007 and that was a first for me and a pretty big deal.
I was mostly able to teach and not let it take over my entire life…. which is also a big deal for me. I still took work home, but I got better at being able to let go of the things over which I had no control- focusing the majority of my energies on the things that I could have an effect upon.
2. What is there to grieve about 2007 (2006/2007)?
(What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)
It was scary and hard to give up all that I had in the states and move to the UK.
I grieve for the loss of my pets due to this move. They relocated to lovely new homes, but this is still one of the hardest things that I have ever done.
I forgive myself for finding new homes for these creatures- and I believe that it was in their best interest to find new homes instead of being in quarantine.
I am scared that I don’t know what comes after this… not that you ever really do… but I acknowledge the fact that at the end of 2007- I am completely unsure about what comes next- and while that is really cool it is also so fucking scary.
3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
I must say- in order to declare 2007 complete- that I know that I did the best that I could. That there are a billion different possibilities and I will always be able to look back and say what if this and what if that… I acknowledge that I am exactly where I need to be. Truly. So, 2007 I declare you complete.
The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2008? Is it the year of joy? the year of self-care? the year of partnership?
Stand up and say it proud, “2008 is my year of…. daring joy. “
So the year 2007 did not disappoint- it stayed surreal from start to finish and in some odd way I am very grateful for that. Perhaps I will reflect more upon that later, but for now I will leave it at that.
Happy New Year’s wishes to you and yours. Take care and enjoy.