The weather today is astounding and beautiful. Low humidity and sun which led to a warm afternoon- oh so beautiful. I started school last week and had teacher workdays (read meeting days). The week flew by and now I am here on a Saturday evening knowing that I must be ready to hit the ground running on Monday. I am excited and nervous as usual and I would love a few more days to get ready… as usual. But I will be ready and it will be great. That is all for now.
Inspired by Christina Rosalie’s One Paragraph a Day I thought…. why not….
My first thought was to start a whole new blog- You know so much has changed since I even visited this space, but then why give into that urge? It is the same urge that has me wasting pages of a blank journal simply so that I can start on a clean space, but there are no truly clean slates and why would I want to wipe it all away? What good would that do?
I am here. And I am here because I was there.
So enough with the clean slates and the starting fresh and the drama of all that goes along with that. Today I am writing one paragraph and that is more than enough.
Summer here is drawing to a close. It will feel warm for some time to come- it usually does, but almost as a warning there was a chill in the air today. Not cold- just enough to say hello. It is a Friday and my last free Friday of the summer. Next week I will go back to school and then the following week I will have a room full of students. A room with walls and a door this year!
The summer was slow and lazy and though fall often signals preparation for the hibernation of winter I am ready to get moving- both physically and mentally.
“I do not accept drinks from gentlemen who disapprove of me” -Holly Golightly (Truman Copote)
A good rule over all… No? Willa to me looks like she would agree with this statement. She would never accept anything from anyone who disapproved of her, but then again who could possibly disapprove of her?
Certainly not I.
I love this picture- I took it last week when I was sitting at the park… at first there were several turtles sitting on the rocks, but slowly they all started to jump back into the rushing water below them. I have felt like those turtles this past week- I was sitting and sunning myself and looking at the rushing water below- wondering can I handle it? Can I handle this rush- or should I just sit here and wait a little while longer? And I have decided that it is time- much like the turtle above to jump on in.
I am looking forward to this fall and September. I turn 32 next month and I am looking forward to that age and what it might bring. I have gotten more comfortable in my skin lately, but more than that I am starting to realize that I can push myself a bit more then I have been. I am capable of more- I am not fragile- I can do whatever I set my mind to… now I must simply set my to it.
I will start that this September in many ways, but one will be to participate in Shimelle’s Learn Something New Everyday. This will be a good month for me to stop and document what I learn through this process of pushing myself a bit more… and to remember that everyday I learn something and everyday I make progress- even when it feels like I am inching ever so slowly on land- even when it feels like I am being tossed about in a wild rush of current.
Dreaming again of new beginnings and fresh starts. Fall seems like a good time to get a fresh perspective on things and clear the slate. So- a new look to things- and trying to revisit why I write here and what I want this place to be for me.
And so it goes. This September I turned 31- which is really quite wonderful. I thought that I might start feeling old or some such bullshit, but truly that is not the feeling of it at all. I have become, as I hoped I might, more and more comfortable in my own skin.
I am feeling out this life and rethinking my place in this world. That has made for some physical changes- like becoming vegan and adding more activity to my day and for some mental changes- rethinking how I spend my time and what my impact is in the world.
And then the striving for living more honestly- which is really where everything is coming from. This idea that I need to truly grasp what it is that is important to me and live by that. No excuses, no bullshit- stop putting on blinders and truly be honest with myself and those around me.
I continue to be a work in progress, but I am starting to feel more like a work of art and less like a construction site.
it is far away from july 23rd, but still quite applicable. i am trying and reaching outward. i have been flexing and stretching some muscles that i forgot that i had. i am rembering that i like to howl at the moon- and i am taking the time to do so.
a bit on the hidy side? yes… but i am emerging and feeling better and braver than i have in quite some time.
“The voice said take off both your shoes, whatever chances you get, especially when their wet…” regina, regina spektor
I like to look at things from odd angles. I remember being mesmerized by the idea of this girl in a book I once read who laid in the back of her parents station wagon during long trips looking at the world up-side-down… when she drew the world came out this way as well.
Sometimes a different angle is all that is required to understand something better and then again sometimes it can throw everything into a whirl of frantic… but that can be useful too.
All this to say that things are shifting in my universe- as they always are I suppose- How is it shifting? Well, I am not really sure yet, but I feel it. Maybe it is the introduction of summer heat that wills one to shed everything that is not necessary…. Whatever it is, right now, it feels good.
Whatever it is- it feels good.
Every Sunday Emily records her senses from the week and now so do I.
I see: Stuff growing which makes all the gardening work seem worth it. Blue skies, wonderful goodies from Luxe in my mail box. Lots of stuff through the lens of my camera thanks to Shimelle’s Scrap Your Day Project.
I touch: dirt, dirt and more dirt. This gardening thing is a crazy amount of work… I suppose I was kinda hoping we just threw out some seeds and hoped for the best, but this is not the case.
I taste: bratwurst on the grill… yum. PG Tips Tea. Marzipan… it has been a very tasty week.
I smell: mint from the garden and lemon balm- both smell divine.
I hear: Phish… I have been listening to them a lot this week- mixed in with some Radiohead In Rainbows…. I am in love with that album….