It was about two years ago now that I first started reading blogs. I was feeling very lost at the time and I wasn’t sure where to turn. Having entered my late twenties, I was trying to figure out what to do- but I was very removed from many of my friends that had helped me with the process in the past. Some were out of my reach because of distance and others were out of reach because they had changed in ways I did not understand and others still were out of reach because they had proven to be no true friend to me. I had my husband, Jon, who was and still is my closest friend, but I was in desperate need for some girl power. All of my known sources seemed out of reach and frankly I lacked the energy and ability to search out new sources of strength… and that was when I turned to Google… Help, I said to Google- Is there anyone else out there?
And Google said yes, yes there is. The first blog that I encountered was that of the amazing Jen Gray. In her entries I got some of that girl power that I had been in desperate need of. I also got some really beautiful photographs, helpful and supportive words, and this idea that I was not alone.
It was from her website that I began to explore this massive world of blogs where people talk, share ideas and art, voice troubles, and offer support. And this was just what I needed. I began to find other blogs that I also enjoyed reading and realized more and more that I was not alone at all.
I found an amazing woman, Heather B. Armstrong, who managed to be a writer, mother, wife, photographer and so much more… who had the courage to write what was on her mind.
This is where it began for me- This transition, this learning experience- around two years ago. And I have had my ups and my downs, but I began a journey of blooming. And it has been amazing.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ” anais nin
Since that time I have become more comfortable in my own skin. I have become the woman that I want to call home. I have found my voice and started writing again (something that I had always done, but somehow stopped doing- feeling I had nothing important enough to say). I have started drawing and painting again. I have started to establish new connections with people and recover and nurture older connections. This process has been so amazing and scary and wonderful and damn hard, but I am here and I am thankful for all of it. Realizing now more than ever that all of this life is a process… and the only thing for me to do is to celebrate and cherish each breath.
And with that I wanted to thank you- All of you that helped me throughout this process and continue to help me today by sharing your life and words and art and ups and downs. Thank you so much- I cannot begin to repay you- or to explain how grateful I am that you are willing to share all of those moments with the world- So that when it gets very dark and one seems to be lost and alone that there are people like you saying what they have to say and lighting a candle and saying here I am.
Thank you so very much.